Around the Corner

If you know me at all, you know I have a bad habit of rolling my eyes and frequently it's after I've processed a situation or conversation and am retelling it.  Over recent years, I have found much frustration with cliches thrown at me about waiting on things in life: "You never know what's around the corner!" or "You will be blessed when you least expect it!" On my 25th birthday, I remember telling a friend, "I keep going around the corner and nothing is ever there!"  I have since referenced this many times and have laughed with my sister about "running laps around all sorts of corners." 

As I write this, I am less than an hour away from my 29th birthday and have now sadly become one of those people who is in danger of saying one of those previously begrudged phrases to some other skeptical, slightly cynical person who might cross my path.  Prior to the past couple of weeks, my expectations of what could have been right around the corner for me were grossly underestimated.  I have been richly blessed by someone who's been very special to me for over 20 years, but in a very different way than ever before.  I could write more about this than what would keep the attention of most. However, let it be known that this man pursuing my heart is unlike any other! 

My eyes have been opened to God's work in my heart and life over the past several years and I'm simply amazed.  I am honored to be ministered to in such a way that reflects the Lord's work so wonderfully.  I've testified that He's in control and been told His timing is perfect, but can now look back and see how so many things have worked together to bring me to this place. The ultimate lesson in all of these new found blessings is for me to do my best to enjoy every day, take things a step at a time, and trust my Maker with my heart.  You Know What? You really don't ever know what's around the corner... 

Who are you, anyway?

Do you think it's important to know who you are? I'm not talking about the ability to list your basic qualities like you're filling out a resume. I mean knowing the raw, unedited, the good, the bad, the ugly, day-to-day, heart and soul, of you.
I would say it is not only important, it is absolutely essential to healthy relationships and to a more fulfilling life. If you don't understand yourself and what makes you tick-or get ticked off- then how in the world is anybody else supposed to understand you? Now I will say I'm not the best at understanding everything I do, say, or feel, but even when I think I'm on target I inevitably feel misunderstood by others from time to time. This makes relating difficult, to say the least.
I am a firm believer that your strengths are usually your weaknesses as well and it can be very helpful to identify some top-ranking qualities. Example: I have a strong personality with a "take charge" ability, which happens to be very needed in both my vocation and voluntary roles, on certain occasions. My leadership skills paired with my tendency to react quickly have proved extremely useful in many situations. However, my reactionary self, plus my faulty discretion can sometimes lead me to hurt those around me with my words and make me wish I would've kept my mouth shut. It's all about timing and balance.
To go a step further, if you are a follower of Jesus, allowing Him free reign of your heart and mind can bring about a deeper understanding of "you" than you might have ever thought possible. There is nothing more freeing than to let your Creator mold and refine you on a daily basis.
Why has all this been on my mind? As I mentioned earlier, understanding yourself can be a huge step in healthy relationships and is crucial to setting boundaries in them. I don't know about you, but I've had enough of hurtful and toxic interactions and have every desire to purge them right out of my life. On the flip side, knowing your heart can help you trust those around you that have the ability to bless your socks off!
What little I've said might sound like psychological mumbo jumbo to you, but You Know What? If you don't search your heart and mind frequently, and invite God to grow you, you will certainly miss out on so much this great life has to offer. Knowing who you are is a lifelong process but certainly worth the fight. I pray that my Lord forever refines the real me, helps me to love more, be hurtful less, and to glorify Him in all that I do. Above all, I hope the fire that is me, inspires or pushes somebody in my life to trust Him with their heart and life.
I'm learning not to apologize so much for the flaws I see in me, but to realize I'm a work in progress. My passion, quirkiness, strong will, affectionate, musical, practical self is happy to be alive today and is excited to see where this roller coaster that is my life takes me. What about you? Who are you, anyway?