Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Time- An enemy and a friend

Time...it's a very strange concept, really, with it's strength, complexity, and control.  Time cannot be controlled by anyone, no matter your status, money, power, or beliefs.  Sometimes you want to fight it - you don't like what it's doing to your body (yes, it's best friends with gravity), it moves so slowly when you're hoping to accomplish a goal or dream, it creeps along when you want it to heal the worst of hurts, or sometimes it moves too quickly when there are moments so wonderful you want it to completely stop.  Either way, time is a powerful force and we each have a choice of what to do with it.  It can be both refreshing and cruel, and sometimes simultaneously.  I am thankful when time is my friend and I am able to learn, grow, heal, reflect and adapt.  I have a harder task to also appreciate when it resembles my enemy - when it appears to have slowed to an unreasonable trudge when I am just sitting and waiting on what to do next. 
My little brain cannot comprehend God creating time, using it in mighty ways, but yet being above its control.  I guess the best thing is to focus beyond the intangible force of time to the only One who holds all my hurts, triumphs, desires, and relationships, and in all things is my constant.  I can overanalyze this concept, just like I do everything else, but will choose and resolve over and over to commit my time to the Lord.  You know what? I have to believe that my time is not in vain when I'm doing my best to follow God with it. 
Several years ago, I was challenged to write my personal mission statement, which I keep in my office.  It reads, "My heart's desire is to grow in the Lord daily in order to be used by Him to better other people.  Whether in work or play, I want to use the abilities He has given me to enjoy life and be ever moving towards the lifelong goal of glorifying Him."  Time will continue to be my enemy and my friend, but in either case, I will put one foot in front of the other and give of myself, because my heart will simply not let me choose otherwise.   

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Around the Corner

If you know me at all, you know I have a bad habit of rolling my eyes and frequently it's after I've processed a situation or conversation and am retelling it.  Over recent years, I have found much frustration with cliches thrown at me about waiting on things in life: "You never know what's around the corner!" or "You will be blessed when you least expect it!" On my 25th birthday, I remember telling a friend, "I keep going around the corner and nothing is ever there!"  I have since referenced this many times and have laughed with my sister about "running laps around all sorts of corners." 

As I write this, I am less than an hour away from my 29th birthday and have now sadly become one of those people who is in danger of saying one of those previously begrudged phrases to some other skeptical, slightly cynical person who might cross my path.  Prior to the past couple of weeks, my expectations of what could have been right around the corner for me were grossly underestimated.  I have been richly blessed by someone who's been very special to me for over 20 years, but in a very different way than ever before.  I could write more about this than what would keep the attention of most. However, let it be known that this man pursuing my heart is unlike any other! 

My eyes have been opened to God's work in my heart and life over the past several years and I'm simply amazed.  I am honored to be ministered to in such a way that reflects the Lord's work so wonderfully.  I've testified that He's in control and been told His timing is perfect, but can now look back and see how so many things have worked together to bring me to this place. The ultimate lesson in all of these new found blessings is for me to do my best to enjoy every day, take things a step at a time, and trust my Maker with my heart.  You Know What? You really don't ever know what's around the corner...